Kumpulan Humor
Indonesia Media
Dari Kanan ke Kiri
Seorang salesman Coca-Cola baru saja kembali dari tugasnya di Pedalaman Tembok Tiongkok.
Dengan wajah yang sangat kecewa ia berhadapan dengan bossnya.
Si Boss bertanya "Kenapa kamu gagal melakukan transaksi di Tiongkok?"
"Saat tiba di Tiongkok saya begitu yakin bisa menjual produk kita..." kata si salesman. "Cuma, ada satu masalah, saya tidak mengerti bahasa Mandarin, jadi saya memutuskan untuk mempromosikan produk ini melalui poster bergambar...."
Poster pertama gambarnya seorang pria yang sedang sekarat dari kehausan di tengah perjalanannya di Tembok Tiongkok.
Poster selanjutnya bergambar pria tersebut kemudian meminum Coca-Cola.
Dan poster terakhir bergambar pria tersebut akhirnya bangkit kembali dengan kondisi yang segar bugar.
Kemudian 3 poster tersebut saya tempel di seluruh penjuru Tiongkok."
"Lho bukannya itu ide yang brilian? Tapi kenapa kamu masih gagal dalam menjual?" tanya si Boss.
Si Salesman menjawab "Saya tidak tahu kalau orang RRT membaca dari kanan ke kiri."
Blacksmith
An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do."
One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
Tickle Me Elmo Toys
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the
Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
Where is God?
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.
They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone!
"Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in "BIG, BIG"trouble this time.
"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"
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